Oh, it's been so long. I have a feeling that If I had reliable access to the internet this page would be used much more often, but then again I'm not sure about that either.

I'm still in a creative slump. Having written nothing for months I feel as though something undefinable is slipping away. I recently read a wonderful book based on the short period of time in Alexander Pope's life before he wrote The Rape of the Lock. The author conveys this sense that Pope felt himself to be in a sort of creative vacuum when he was isolated in the country away from the city and the peerage. That's exactly how I feel. I cannot compare my "city" to London, however my country life seems to be just as soul sucking as Mr. Pope's.

I'm surrounded by dumbass rednecks 24/7. That's not to say they are just southerners. One must understand that there is a wealth of intelligent and insightful people who live in the south and still have southern or "country" ways, however there is a subset of southerners who combine all their country ways with incredible stupidity and willfull ignorance. That, my friends, is what I'm surrounded by. Stupid ignorant racists: some of them, people so entrenched in religion they cannot see outside of that small world: more of them, and people who care so little to increase or enhance their knowledge that they'd rather go on living in ignorance for eternity: the majority.

What's really disheartening is the fact that I'm related to people who fall into those different categories. What am I supposed to do? I've not had ONE single intelligent conversation since I graduated college. I need to get the fuck out of this god damned place for good.

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS

i don't even know what to say, except that what I'm about to divulge is pathetic.

My brother and sister moved into their dorms Saturday and will be starting classes tomorrow..... and I am totally and completely envious of what they have to look forward to. The four years I spent in college was the most carefree and interesting time of my life so far. I miss it so much.

In other less pathetic news, I've become wholly infatuated with Craig Ferguson. Weird I know, but he's got these strange sexy vibes....... I adore his humor, better than anything else on in late night I'd have to say.

i'm trying to save money

desperately

i need to get out of this fucking hell hole of a town

i have almost 2,000 in checking and 800 in savings. I know I should withdraw some from checking and put it in savings, but i feel so good knowing I could drop a thousand dollars on something. Luckily my parents were part of a anti-credit card generation, they have no debts, and neither do I. Being 2,000 to the good is something not many people can say these horrible days when the average american is several thousand dollars in debt. However, I have a job that pays shit, and i live at home. My degree is next to worthless, and my parents want me to apply for the post master job in my hometown, like i want to be fucking chained to a post office for the rest of my damn life.

I've written pathetically little since I've left school, and this is the first time i've had the chance to check my internet stuff in weeks. I'm seriously considering applying for grad school next spring. I do want at least one semester away from school.

I have written ONE "poem" while sitting in the break room at work listening to the dumbasses talk at each other

 it's called

To Wit

A toast,
to wit:
You allusive
attribute.
The words
fired
in parting shots
and stinging remarks
require your tangible tang.
Speakers of commencements
die slow cricket fouled deaths
when they lack your special additive.
So here's to wit,
the queen mother
of necessities
to any budding artist.